49 – Thinking – Being positive during the day (part 4)
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Being Positive during the day: is it really possible to do so?
Previously I taught you the technique of meditation, which is fundamental for our mental and physical well-being. Many people approach the meditative practice only to avoid thinking about problems, and in a certain sense also to isolate themselves from everything around them; yet the constant practice of true meditation leads you to discover new levels of consciousness, which make you want to discover much more of the world, to know it as it really is, to live it, and why not, even to improve it. Today the expression change the world is used by too many individuals with the most varied purposes, so it is now confused and ridiculed, preventing us from understanding the value and above all the true meaning of this sentence. First of all because the term change scares us, makes us think of a negative, tiring or risky event, and if it is then joined to the word world , it leads us to believe that it is something too big and powerful because we can do something , so we give ourselves for defeated already at the start.
In reality I think that there is nothing wrong with wishing to change the world and it is not ego if we decide to try it. In fact, we are not talking about superheroes that make the planet turn in the opposite direction overnight; we are simply analyzing the reasons that led people living in the same world to behave in a certain way, to reason according to a certain criterion rather than another, and to react with certain attitudes to the situations they have before, to finally understand which is the right one push to change negative programs and make them positive, thus succeeding in changing the way of life in the world. After all, let us realize that when we talk about the world, we are referring to people like you and me, very normal people who get up in the morning, wash their faces, look in the mirror straight in their eyes and decide, take matters in hand to organize your day and your life. So, if we could change something in our routine, like our way of thinking and taking our lives in our hands, then we will be in excellent advantage, because as we do we could do so many other people too. When we say change the world , we immediately fear that it is a question of imposing a will on all other people, forcing them to act in a certain way against their will; so let’s think about the painful, negative change. We immediately think of the worst. Actually you can change the world without imposing anything on anyone, allowing them to know how to change themselves and so enabling them to choose; a possibility they do not have now. Only then can we really change it.
If we wanted to make a change effective, we should allow people to understand what is the right way to do it, because only then will we make it truly effective, permanent, continuous and unshakable. If we could change ourselves, we would already be changing the world even before we knew it. Even if you think you are too young to do something important, just to be an insect compared to all humanity, you must remember that this is made up of many humans just like you and me, identical, neither superior nor inferior. This means that both you and me are part of the same people, and if we are the first to be able to change ourselves and become more positive, other people will follow our steps. So this is not a hard and forced change, because we are choosing to change within ourselves for good reason, to become better people.
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This change of thought will bring us an incredible evolution, because in our lives events will happen that follow one another, making our lives just as we would have liked: a life that will make us satisfied and that will make us wake up morning thinking “Oh yes, today I will do many things! I can’t wait to get started! ”, As opposed to how we would react before starting the change within us. Other people will notice your great satisfaction in living life and will want to know how you managed to change. They will be intrigued because while their lives are flowing in the way we call “normal” today, between work, stress and anguish, you will be living a happy life although you are doing, according to them, the same daily actions that all the others do. You will be different because you will have become aware of being alive. This is why you will live your life with great happiness, unlike others who run through life convinced that they are doing others a favor. If people like you and me start to change internally, then many others will follow suit, too, because they will notice – looking at the real facts – that our actions bring better benefits than those they do.
There are those who believe that there are only a few people in the world ready for change, and that others will never get there. But I believe that there are few who are not ready for change, while others simply have to find the right motivation to decide to change their way of life. We are not all alike, which is why we cannot expect all people to start at the same time and make this decision for the same reason. We all have different thoughts and stories that distinguish us, so some people will decide to take this path to find a solution to a personal problem, others to improve their relationships, others to learn more self-control especially in times of excessive stress, others , they simply didn’t find a valid reason to start, or maybe nobody had the right patience to explain to them what good reasons to do it … then how can we blame them for not being ready for change, if they don’t even know what it is? For me, change is something very simple.
There is no need for someone else to do it for us, so there is no need for alien spacecraft to come to our rescue to teach us how to become better; we are very intelligent and we can understand for ourselves what the right method is, if at least someone explains it properly. We are not all geniuses to the point of understanding everything by ourselves even if we find ourselves in circumstances that push us to be negative, but we are intelligent enough to understand when it is time to drop something that is making us feel pain to open ourselves to something that is doing us feel peace and serenity for a good time. Change, for me, is a feeling of desire that wants us to feel in peace continuously, throughout the day. We can only feel at peace if we decide to lead a life that does not harm our emotional health, which obviously is clearly connected to the physical one. A physical effort can be well accepted by our mind, but only if it is stimulated by good reason. In fact, we could work for just one hour in moving medium-heavy furniture, and then find ourselves exhausted as if we had done worse, precisely because we were not motivated to work and even less were accompanied by a feeling of serenity; rather we felt more under mental stress than physical. Then, we could do two hours of gym and lift weights much more important, but with a motivation engraved in our mind that will make us do that movement with much more serenity, because it won’t cause us mental stress. Although we will raise weights much higher than the previous ones, instead of feeling more tired and stressed we will feel even more loaded and relaxed, because we will be “venting” the stress accumulated previously. At this point we should reflect on the fact that it is not the weight to be raised to stress our mind, but the motivation that drives us to make that movement and that makes us decide – even if unconsciously – to associate that action with a stressful event or at a charity event for us.
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No one likes to get up early to go to work, but it’s a fact: in the morning we have to get up to go to work and, regardless of whether we do it with a smile or a snort, anyway we have to go, so snorting doesn’t improve the our day. However, deciding to stay healthy even while we work will change our lives so much, because even though we know that it is for a certain time, we have to go there (for some, even all life in the same workplace); therefore we should understand that we need to change something within ourselves, or in the program we have set up to live our lives. In a nutshell, we must acknowledge the fact that, for a certain period of time, we will have to carry out actions that we do not like, consequently we are also deciding to spend all that time with a mental state harmful to our health. Since there are actions that we can’t give up during the day or we can’t eliminate, we must realize that we can’t throw away all that time to be emotionally ill, so we have to decide to face those boring moments with a more positive mental state, because it is the only chance we have left. If making a face and complaining can be useful, then let’s do it, but if we complain and end up feeling sick all day doesn’t lead us to anything, then we change this way of living situations and choose to live them more serenely. It is normal that it is not easy to go to work or do household cleaning with a stupid smile on your face, as if it were the most beautiful thing in the world. We all know that these actions are tiring and boring, but we must feel motivated to do them because they will lead us to something, or simply because we have to do them, as no one else would do them for us. If we don’t like our work, we hate it, it makes us damn from morning to night, then we stop giving up to the bosses and we take the courage to change places to find something that makes us feel better or, why not, satisfies us . For the rest, unfortunately nobody pays us to sleep, so we have to do something in our lives and that something must be lived positively, because it will take away a lot of your life and you must allow yourself to live well those moments, which are really many.
So, if you can change jobs and do what you like best, so be it, but if you know you can’t do it for a while, then don’t waste that time feeling bad. The change we want in the world, we must do it first of all on us. If we think of people, we could believe that there is too much evil in their hearts, that there are too many negative people, full of anger, full of hate … but how can we judge them? We are obliged to live negative lives, full of sacrifices, suffering, promises that are not kept, debts and financial problems due to which families cannot live well together because every single component is harassed from morning to evening. It is normal that, after all that we are undergoing, we find ourselves to be negative, and this is not just others, but we are all, because we are just like the others, only that we are better at noticing their defects rather that ours. When we get angry we believe that we are right and that is when, when others get angry, we believe they are exaggerating, that they could avoid it; although we, if we had been in their shoes, would have reacted in the same way or even worse. Precisely because we are people who become angry, hate, who treat other people badly even though we do not realize it, we should start to change within ourselves. By doing so, others will take an example. I don’t like to think of an excessively peace and love scenario, where people jump together hand in hand saying I love you to all passers-by, because I believe that these are unrealistic fantasies that won’t happen in this world. The fact remains that we are mad to allow our trade and our routine problems to have the right to influence us to such an extent that our stress and frustration fall on other people.
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We vent on others as if they had something to do with it, almost blaming them for our personal problems as if they didn’t have enough of them already. It is not the fault of others if we have tedious and heavy obligations to be observed daily, because all of them have them too, although they could be presented in different forms or contained in other fields.
Since we all have annoying and stressful duties to have to respect every day, let us realize that the fault is not of those who wake up early in the morning to go to work as we do, or who makes sacrifices to survive just as we do we. If we want to see change in the world, then first of all we choose to change something within us: the feeling with which we get up in the morning and face our business. If getting out of bed tired and stressed already at the mere thought of having to do your job improves your life, then go ahead; but if you realize that you are not improving it at all and that, on the contrary, you return home at night even more tired and nervous than before, then you begin to reverse the system. Change attitude, try to live your life more positively, because only in this way will something concrete change in your life. If you know how to change your life and make it better, then do it, but if you don’t know it, if you know for sure that your commitments are those and you can’t change them or run away from them, then confront them with a more positive state of mind. Accept, for a moment, that you can be peaceful even when you carry out strenuous and tiring actions, accept that you can also live those hours of your life with an inner peace that allows you to face every obstacle and that assures you that you do not collapse emotionally. Work stress is causing more and more victims and this is not to be taken lightly, because it is creating real pain in many people, and not just in a manner of speaking. This is certainly not the fault of the people, who we believe to be weak and who easily collapse, but it is caused by a huge mistake of society that is making us bury it with our own hands. However, this does not mean that we should react even in front of this obstacle, rather than surrender and make us submit.
It’s hard, it’s hard, but we have to do it for ourselves, because we can’t allow work or household chores to take away time when we could have been happy, enduring them as hours of physical and mental suffering. Changing the way we experience certain situations will also change the way we relate to other people, making our character and personality more at peace with ourselves, and we will also convey the same pure feeling to others. There is nothing more true than peace, because that cannot be pretended, it cannot be recited. You can simulate a smile, you can play the beautiful phrases, but then when you come home and you are alone with yourself then you can no longer pretend at that moment will come out the real you, the one suffering and anguish, or the one at peace with himself. The others will see it and take an example. We humans are great experts in adaptation: we adapt to any situation, and to do so, we take an example from those who, unconsciously, we believe have adapted better than us. If we give negative examples, other people will take the negative example, but if we start, from this moment, to give positive examples to others, they will end up taking that example and doing the same thing. It is not a question of imposing, it is not a question of asking him to behave in a certain way … the human mind is accustomed to taking an example from those around it, imitating others without realizing it, and it is for this reason that the people around you continually repeat the example you give. Without you or them knowing it, their unconscious tells them to imitate you. From the moment you decide to change yourself and keep the promise you are making, others will follow their unconscious that will ask them to follow your example, to behave positively as you are doing, because they will understand that it is the best choice .
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Their unconscious will discover that the best method of adaptation will be to react to situations with a positive mental state like you are doing, and it is for this reason that the people around you will begin to behave like you. That’s why the world is already changing: because people are deciding to live their lives in a positive way. They are few? Are they many? It doesn’t matter, sooner or later everyone will follow.
This will happen thanks to an internal decision that you will have to choose to respect every day. It will be the most important commitment of every single work duty, it will be a decision that you can put above all others, because it will be the one that will lead you to an inner benefit that has no limit. It is not easy to understand this lifestyle because you probably do not have enough examples around you to follow, because there are no people who appreciate their lives. Then be the example to follow for the people around you; it takes very little to change one’s way of thinking and that of others. They forced us to live with a negative state of mind, but now we can take the courage to decide to live with a positive mental state. It is not easy, but it is our choice and we must decide whether it should be feasible or impossible, no one else can choose it for us; life is ours. One thing is certain, let’s not expect to have to see the example from the others first in order to decide to do it also ours: we have waited too long already and we have realized that it was a waste of time; now it’s up to us to be a good example to follow. Perhaps it may seem strange, but many people are ready for change, they are just tired of so many promises that are not kept, because it has not been explained to them that change must come from within and not from outside. Since you, too, are probably of my own idea, then you bring about the change within you, without waiting for it to happen from the outside. If you become aware of your life and realize that you cannot waste it, but that you must enjoy it to the full, then you will be starting to change your mental state about your life and so you will notice the beginning of the change. The positive events, incidentally, will come closer to you, just as if you were recalling them. Certainly starting to keep a calm state of mind during routine situations will be very helpful to yourself and others. Living always with a smile is not easy, but we have to give ourselves a reason to do it even during boring or stressful moments, like working or doing things we don’t like. If we can get through working hours with a calmer mental state, then we will be able to go home more calmly, relating to other people with a much more tender and understanding feeling. We continually allow the unconsciousness to take over us, so we ruin our relational relationships because we don’t know how to manage external influences that push us to behave negatively in front of certain situations; then later we repent. During work, we justify ourselves with our pessimistic or impulsive behavior towards others, because we are working and we believe it is right to have such behavior because we feel under stress. When we return from work, we justify ourselves to our behavior with family or friends, believing that it is right to respond in a certain way, to huff, to complain about everything, to offend others and what they have done, because we are just returned from work and we are tired, so it gives us the right to behave badly. Thus, the night before going to sleep, we justify having spent a day identical to the previous ones, because it is not our fault, the others have to change, not us.
Every day we find dozens and dozens of justifications with which we cheat ourselves, believing that it is right to feel bad during our days because we have good reasons to do so, so we try to convince ourselves that this is right and that we must do nothing to change. Why are we trying to convince ourselves? Exactly who pushes us to do this?
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In reality we are not at all justified, because we are all tired, we all do things that we do not like, but this does not give us the right to be perpetually tired and stressed; we must not behave like this with ourselves. Nor does it give us the right to behave badly with others as if they were the cause of our problems. So, if we want change in the world, we should start to analyze what there is to change in our lifestyle. It will not happen immediately, but rather it will be a process that will develop gradually; but we can start to try, at least try to improve our approach with the people around us. The first step is to start immediately, without waiting for the following morning to do so. The night leads us to forget the good intentions, so even if today you have a great intent, tomorrow morning you might not have it anymore, because during your sleep you have forgotten that feeling that you are trying now. The motivation disappears very quickly, because we are harassed daily by thousands of hidden messages, which have the intent to demotivate our good intentions to make us all depressed and stressed again. There is something wrong in the air. If you start right away with this good purpose, it is much more likely that tomorrow you will be inclined to take it back and try to continue it. Don’t try too hard, but learn a new way of responding to people after thinking about how you could do it without causing offense or bother of any kind. We are too used to believing that our words do not hurt anyone because we have no intention of doing so, yet our words hurt many people, because we are all tense as violin strings because of excessive stress, so we are irritable, touchy, we are angry we offend much more easily and even more than necessary. That’s why the words of others are so pungent, yet they don’t do it on purpose, they are convinced that they have said something that would never be offensive, at least in their mind. We also make the same mistake. If we reasoned more before reacting impulsively, we could be much more good, serious and trusted in the eyes of those who look at us, because we will be able to react with our own decision, and not impulsively as we are used to doing. Thinking more about the actions we carry out daily and the words that we say to the people, little by little we will improve our approach to the program situations. We need to think about the ever larger factors that occupy our days, so as to become aware of how we are behaving with others. Don’t give up right away, don’t fall into despair; there is a lot to do.
During our days events that we had not foreseen happen continuously, which can be simple wasted time, as well as annoying and very boring situations. These will be the first to want to make us lose patience, but from this moment we try not to lose it, we try to contain our desire to let ourselves go to impulsiveness and take control of the situation, without letting it get out of hand. Let us realize that we would like to change ourselves and make ourselves more positive, so let’s give ourselves this motivation to decide not to lose our cool, thus maintaining a peaceful state of mind. At the beginning it will be a tough exercise, but if you decide to keep doing it, you will realize how to stay calm, in many situations, not only will you save the day from a conclusion that should have been disastrous and full of quarrels at home, but it will allow you to be in the eyes of others a much more determined and reliable person. All this because you will be able to keep the most complex situations under control, and they will admire you because they would not have known how to do it for you; although for you it seems little and you will believe that nothing has changed, because in your head you will be making a great effort not to get angry, however, in real facts, you will not be angry and you will have kept calm, so in the eyes of all you stand out for that what have you done: you have been superior to obstacles and you have successfully overcome them. You will be the example to follow.
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Therefore, it does not matter how many times you will get angry and lose patience before being able to learn self-control over positive thinking; it will happen many times. But if you decide today to try, at least try to change your attitude and make it more positive and reasonable, instead of being impulsive and easily influenced by external events, then you will be able to make a change in yourself that others will notice and admire. You will realize how, by becoming more positive in your way of living the day and in your way of responding to people, people will begin to love you more, appreciating you and showing you their affection more and more often. You will surround yourself with positive events if you first start this process, which is called positive thinking. Give yourself a motivation every day to get up in the clear morning and spend a calm day, despite all the stressful commitments and duties that would make you collapse like all the other days; today is a different day because you are becoming aware of who you are and how you can change yourself and others. Keep a calm thought, deciding to return home peacefully without being overly stressed, like you used to do in the past. In front of you there is the future and you can decide that it must be positive, but you must make this decision if you want it to be realized. Take control, be conscious and allow the change you have long wanted, because now it can happen. So, is it possible to be positive during the day? Yes, you can do it, and in this way you can give way to change.
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